Today is a good day.

I am making one of my favorite treks across Pennsylvania today. Returning to one of my first homes… I made this drive hundreds of times in my youth. Today’s drive is extra special because it’s nearing the end of August and the sun, the air, just everything is reminding me that September is coming.

September. So much more than just being my birthday month, which I love my freaking birthday so much. Birthday, yes… but September just always seemed like it was finally time for life to be just be about me.

Someday soon I’m going to talk about the deeper why of why sharing my thoughts publicly has been really hard for me to do up until this point. For today though, this platform is my way of taking up space. This is my way of belonging to myself. This is my way of telling myself and the world that I matter, my voice matters, I’m owning my story so it doesn’t own me.

September has always been the month that I got to have at least one day that was about me. When you grow up with someone who robs every good moment with their selfishness and narcissism… It just… Sucks.

I suppose, if you know you know, you know? Ya know? Last September on my birthday we were at Magic Kingdom at Disney world. There was a rainbow over Disney that morning. It was an absolutely perfect day. A dream come true.

Not all that long ago I wouldn’t allow myself to have good things. I would deprive myself of things that I needed like new shoes, underwear, food… And then I would overindulge in other areas of my life to try to achieve what I now know is homeostasis. I’ll circle back around to this another time… But does anybody understand this? I would love to hear your story, too.

Today is a good day because I’m going to visit one of my first and best college friends. She and our little golden circle is responsible for helping me to grow into a human. This drive feels like I’m going home 🙂

I’m in a really vulnerable place right now. I am making big mistakes, choices that have the potential to destroy things that I really love and that I really want. In a way, it’s kind of like going to college and moving into your dorm room with people you don’t know and having to figure out life and learn a whole bunch of life shit and smart shit. It’s all compressed into a few short weeks before you move on to more classes with more information that you have to cram into your brain. This growth… it’s like I’m stretch Armstrong and you’re attaching my hands to your bicycle and my feet to your skateboard and my older and younger brothers are using me to ride and pull each other.

Did anybody ever stretch an Armstrong so far that he busted open? I’ve busted open a few times since June 27th… I’m sorry if you were on the receiving end of that explosion.

I’ve decided that I just need to keep growing. I need to dive head first into the wisdom and practices that I know to be true and helpful. Return to the basics. Prayer, meditation, Brene Brown lol.

So here’s the gift that I have for the world today… I’m sharing the hard-earned wisdom of our future’s revered Emotions sage genius of our time. She will be talked about in the same way we talk about Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Jesus, Einstein, Plato. She’s the one who always brings me back to myself, reminds me to be awkward, brave, and kind. She gave me permission and taught me how to own my story. She taught me that if I want to belong I first have to belong to myself. ❤️

❤️❤️❤️ Enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

Brene Brown and Lewis Howes

Honest. Kind. Shine.