This spiritual journey sure is interesting! Now having a better understanding of how this all works I’m much more comfortable with it happening.

Anyone else like me? I have this deep desire (maybe even a need 😬) to understand. I don’t know if this is a survival skill that I developed somewhere along the way or part of my humanness? Not sure. But I can pretty much go along with anything if I understand why and there’s a good explanation/reason. I won’t shave my head if you just tell me to but if it’s for a good cause, I might consider it! 😅

But don’t just tell me that ‘it is what it is’ when it is miserable for no good reason or it clearly doesn’t have to be that way.

God is calling me into deeper levels of trust. For the first 6 weeks or so, He made it clear that I needed to “surrender and trust” without explanation or giving me much understanding. It took me about that long to really listen, too. I think this is hard for most people- to completely surrender and trust. Especially when it comes to a love interest. We’re taught to go get it and get it now. And if they don’t respond right away then “fuck em” or “they’re being a jerk and you deserve better”. Lots of people out there believe twin flame relationships are “toxic”… And it’s easy to understand how people come to that conclusion. (Lots of people think God is toxic too 😬). I have lots of people inquiring about the status of my twin flame relationship and when I say to those who don’t know or understand this process that “I haven’t heard a peep” they look at me like I have ten heads lol. They are filled with doubt and suspicion. Trust me friends, 6 months ago I very much felt the same. Like what is this madness?!?!

The difference between then and now is that now I understand how twin flames “work”. Y’all are not going to understand but… He’s actually loving me perfectly 🥰

It feels so good to finally understand.

But the surrender and trust came before the understanding.

God is calling me into deeper levels of trust and surrender as I continue on this purge, prune, and purify journey. Surrender and trust get easier the more I do it, thankfully.

God knew exactly where I would need to be in my relationship with him to experience upheaval. And it’s crazy because not even 6 months ago I was freaking out and passing out!

I started MAP- Mind Alignment Process on Friday last week. MAP was developed by the founders of my school, Twin Flames Universe .

Disclaimer: I know this sounds woowoo to some of you. I don’t really care what you think but because I want to spread the good news, I’m willing to briefly address it. I’m well aware of your concerns and appreciate your skepticism. If you know me at all you know that I have a healthy dose of skepticism in me and that I’m very careful about what I invest my time, money, and energy into. (Especially given the crazy amounts of insane contrast I’ve already experienced in my life 😅) You can trust that I’ve done my research, consulted people I trust, and most importantly, talked with God. For me, TFU and MAP get a BIG green GO sign from God. I am choosing to trust my discernment process as it has. not. mislead. me. yet. God is not a trickster and I have NO desire to get mixed up in nonsense. I choose to trust and surrender.

Every good thing triggers upsets and doubt in others. We’re sooo conditioned to believe that learning, healing, relationships, and love can’t be easy. We must suffer through it right? NO! WRONG! We don’t need to suffer. We just believe we do. Well, I choose to believe differently and trust those who have gone before me. Messing around with spirituality is a HUGE risk and this spiritual community doesn’t take their responsibility lightly. With that said, I understand your concerns and I had them too. I’ve tested them and my school, coach, and teachers continue to prove themselves legit. Not just legit, but full of LOVE. Better yet, God is really showing up – in miracles!!! This community is amazing. God’s design, twin flames, how it ‘works’, is amazing. Of course it is! It’s God! 🙌

So, upheaval.

It’s well known that most experience some kind of upheaval during this process of healing and ascension. Basically, upheaval is the process by which old beliefs, thought patterns, and traumas leave the ‘system’. This can look and feel like a lot of physical and emotional symptoms – exhaustion, crying, a lot, mood swings, and changes in priorities and thinking. Many people experience physical symptoms after their first MAP session. I was feeling SO GOOD after my MAP session – I was worried that it didn’t heal me at the core… And then… This happened…

I’m not usually that red and puffy lol

I developed a rash all over my body. I never get hives and I don’t have any allergies so this is definitely weird. I saw the Dr and he agreed, it’s likely upheaval! Trauma is leaving my body! My skin broke out on my chin and I developed an infection- doc said all the swelling and heat caused it out so now I’m on meds 😅 oy. Interesting that my upheaval is presenting as acne- something I struggled with since my CSA. I’ve learned that spiritually speaking, acne and other skin conditions manifest as a result of repressed anger and boundary violations. So OF COURSE my body would use that method to purge my trauma from my consciousness. Our bodies are amazing. Wow.

I’m grateful because this means the trauma is LEAVING MY BODY!!!!!

I’ve done some form of trauma therapy for the past 10 years and I’ve 1) never felt better and 2) never had a physical response. This is wild.

Of course I could attribute it to other things. A virus, an allergy, etc etc. Of course I could. I could also freak out and worry myself to death. Instead, I choose to believe it’s upheaval because my body has for sure kept the score of my CSA. And now my body, our bodies…. Are releasing it!

If you’re interested in learning more about how the body keeps the score of trauma check out this book.

So… Anna got sick too. She slept with me the night before and right at the same time my rash broke out, she developed a fever with no other symptoms. Later she began throwing up randomly over the next 36 hours or so. She’s also sleeping a lot.

No one else is sick.

If you know me, you know I’ve always had a vomiting phobia. This is a different story but the fact that I’m laying in bed next to her and not anxious is a miracle. 🌱

Healing is REAL!!! And it can be easy! MAP is the way! ❤️‍🔥

God-incidentally this song is playing…

The lyrics say “lay down your burdens”.

That’s exactly what the Mind Alignment Process does. It’s goal is to have you release your trauma triggers and memories- to lay down your burdens. And take up the mind of Christ, healing. Your birth right!

The amazing thing about this is that the process is so simple and SO effective. It really feels like a miracle. God is still on the move and He is still speaking to and inspiring us. We’re not used to recovery being easy. We’re used to paying lots of money, spending lots of time. Today’s recovery process is much like the Old Testaments ‘sin cleansing process’. It required a LOT of sacrifice. The OT stories exist for the purpose of contrast. So people can compare – ‘this is life without Jesus’, ‘this is life with Jesus’. Unfortunately, some people, even some with good intentions, try to create short cuts or methods to healing that just don’t work because they’re not inspired by God. There are lots of healing methods that exist today that in comparison feel like sacrificing animals and following a list of rules as long as a CVS receipt 🤣

Think about it though.

A good God would not make healing hard. That’s the whole message of Jesus. He died for our sins so we don’t have to pay for them anymore!

OT = CVS receipt, Jesus = no receipt.

It really is just that simple. Sadly the evangellies and much of the modern church still tries to make people pay for their sins. They do this by hyperfocusing on the sins of others and condemning them into guilt and submission. They do it by saying things like “hate the sin not the sinner”. You realize that this is SO not something Jesus said?? Sorry church, you missed the point of Jesus.

I digress.

Here’s what I think is going on. But before I share, please know that I am not just making this up out of thin air. I’ve done a lot of reading and talking to my spiritual mentors and they confirm… This is how healing happens. This is upheaval.

I think Anna is upheavaling with me. I won’t get into the details but this is how trauma works. (If you’re interested you can read more here). Trauma creates an imprint on our DNA and that imprint gets passed on until someone chooses to heal their consciousness. Because women are born with all the ovum they’ll ever have, her grandchildren are affected by her experiences. When I was pregnant with Anna she had all her eggs- therefore, I carried my grandchildren. This is why generations tend to repeat cycles. Because the patterns are engrained in us- not just by nurture but more so by nature!

We are all energetically connected. You experience, or prove this when your mood is affected by another’s mood. Or you walk into a room and the energy is off. Or you just get a feeling about someone or something and later find out you were right. It’s energy.

Mothers have a special energetic bond with their children, especially before they reach puberty. Because of this, I think Anna’s body is purging the genetic coding and what would be a triggered response to inherited trauma that she may experience later in life. She’s also clearing the DNA coding in her ovum- or future babies! Of course God would make it easy to heal and that we would have everything we need within us to heal ourselves, our children, and our children’s children. That is such a God thing! 🙌

Our bodies are either responding to the healing I did in MAP, or we both attracted a virus to help us along, or purge, the gunk out of our system!

Amazing.

For this reason, I can embrace upheaval. I can embrace my weird hives and infection. And, amazingly, I can embrace her puking. Because we’re healing. And we’ll never have to heal this ever again. 👏🙌💝

This ends with me. 💪

Honest. Kind. Shine. XxOoXXo.